did i mess everything up?

okay so i might have completely ruined everything at work today.

we had this system upgrade scheduled for the weekend and i was supposed to coordinate with the vendor but i think i maybe missed an email? or maybe i didn't miss it and i'm just overthinking this but what if i DID miss it and now the whole upgrade is going to fail and it's going to be my fault and everyone's going to know it was my fault.

i checked my inbox seventeen times. yes i counted. the email is not there. so either they didn't send it or i deleted it by accident or it went to spam or--

mike says i'm spiraling again. he's probably right. he usually is.

i just. i hate feeling like this. like my brain won't shut off. like every little thing could be the thing that makes everything fall apart.

also i ate lunch at 2pm and then forgot to eat dinner and now it's almost midnight and i'm too anxious to be hungry.

whatever.